One Minute Wit
I Was A Traveler
I was a traveler of both time and space.
I had seen things no one should ever see.
Things that would make anyone with a still-beating heart weep.
Yet, I was compelled to continue. So I did.
I stood on a hill and looked out at the vast wilderness stretched out before me.
A land unrecognizable by civilized man.
A land covered with peculiar items of unknown origin or use.
A land full of strange, wonderful creatures.
I was afraid.
And in my terror, I raised my arms and yelled out, “I am a human!”
Then suddenly, a figure, like a woman, wearing a blue vest emblazoned with the name Walmart, appeared and said,
“Alright, human. You want to climb out of that shopping cart now. The store is closing in five minutes.”
50-Word Story
Bad Choice, Bob
Bob drew Michelle’s name for the Christmas gift exchange at work. Great, he thought, I barely know her.
He bought a box of fancy cupcakes. Who doesn’t like cupcakes?
Michelle opened the box and started crying.
“What’s wrong?” Bob asked.
“My fiancé just broke up with me. He’s a baker.”
Story
Keep On Truckin’
Bill was a seasoned truck driver. He often made several trips in a single day. Today he had a new driver riding with him.
“Hey, friend. What’s your name?” Bill asked.
“Harvey. This is my first trip.”
“Welcome then. I’m Bill. Just sit back and try to enjoy the ride.”
“What is that awful noise?” Harvey asked.
“That’s the engine.”
“Really? It sounds terrible. And it keeps cutting out.”
“That’s normal. You’ll get used to it.”
“Why do we keep going in circles?”
“It’s our usual route. You’ll learn it soon enough.”
Suddenly the truck crashed into an airplane. Harvey and Bill both banged their heads on the windshield.
“You alright?” Bill asked.
“I think so. What happened?”
“We hit an airplane.”
“An airplane? What’s an airplane doing on the road?”
“It’s not that uncommon. We get cows and horses too.”
“You’re kidding. Is the truck damaged?”
“Naw. It’s pretty tough.”
“Whoa, we’re moving again. Hey, we’re flying. What’s going on? Where are we?”
“We’re on top of Flat Top mountain. You might want to hang on.”
“Why? Hey! You’re heading right toward the edge. Stop!”
The truck flew off the edge and fell to the valley below, slammed into the ground, bounced up in the air, and then rolled over several times. Harvey fell out of the truck window and landed on his back.
Bill got out of the truck and went over to Harvey.
“I told you to hang on,” Bill said.
“I don’t understand. How am I still alive?”
“You really don’t know?”
“No. Know what?”
“You’re plastic. We’re toys. Look up, that’s Billy. He’s four.”
Comics
Super Hero
I wonder…
Happy Monday.
Mark
YOU ARE SO IMAGINATIVE!!!!! That feeling when you have no idea which way is up is so hard to come by these days. Obsessed with your writing.